Another Year and Where Are We

I’ve not posted anything to this page in almost a year. To be honest, there are so many things I want to say but I’m afraid to say them. Am I the only one who feels like 2021 wasn’t any easier than 2020? I can’t count how many times I thought in 2020 – “I’m so over this year. It can’t be over soon enough” only to wander into a new version of the unrest I felt last year.

I have fundamentally…at my very core…changed in the past 24 months more than I’ve ever changed in my life. The things that are important to me have changed. The things I will tolerate have changed. I feel like I’m looking at the world and those around me without blinders for the first time in my life. I also feel what a friend beautifully labeled a “collective awakening” around me, so many people I know are going through this fundamental change in their lives and breaking generational traumas.

This year has been the year where I’m learning what I will no longer bring or allow in my life. I’ve learned boundaries and how I want to have firm, yet loving boundaries. I’ve also learned those who don’t respect my boundaries have benefited the most from my lack of them.

This year has been hard.

As I embark on the year that will make my half century in this life, I’m just finally coming to terms with what I want out of this life and the feelings of that realization are so mixed. On one hand it feels good to know where I want to go but on the other hand, I feel like I’ve wasted so much time pursuing all the wrong things and people that bring nothing to my life.

Are you experiencing these same feelings this year? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

2020 Looking Back and Looking Forward

I think that we can all agree that 2020 was painful. Last January I had a host of plans of things to do and experience in the New Year and they quickly came of a halt in March. Things that seemed so important to me in the early months of 2020 became trivial as the weeks passed and COVID-19 became a full blown pandemic across the globe.

Warning

I believe the science that confirms COVID-19 is a real thing. I support wearing a mask, social distancing, and am pro-vaccine. I believe the 2020 election – just as the 2014 election – was decided fairly and based on American democracy. If you do not share these ideals or beliefs, my content is likely not for you and that’s okay. I bid you farewell and wish you well. I will not tolerate trolls. If you incite arguments, treat me or others that share these ideals or beliefs, you will be blocked, reported, etc.

Once the pandemic blew up, many of my 2020 goals felt trivial. The content I was creating felt superficial. People were getting sick, they were losing their jobs, their homes, and more. Teachers were struggling to perform their roles based on demands from administrators, hear conflicting opinions and beliefs of parents, and try to give kids a modicum of normalcy. Everyone was struggling in one way or another and frustrations were running high on all fronts.

So how did my 2020 Goals fare?

I was so fortunate with regards to work and finances in 2020. My “day job” has been a remote/work from home job for 3 years so I experienced very few bumps. My consulting work also seemed to get busier. I believe this was only because I have spent most of the year at home and thus, had the time and inclination to take on consulting work. This allowed me to pay more than double of my goal toward my debt.

#Project3000 is still a work in progress. It wasn’t completed. Donate options were limited for many months which led me to purge less. I purged just 307 items from my home which leaves me with still almost 2,000 items to remove to achieve this goals.

I learned this year that I’m much better at working out when I go to a destination. Actually going to the gym or the yoga studio made me better at keeping a workout routine. This goal was a bust for 2020. It’ll stay on the list for 2021 with the other missed goals of 2020.

Hiking new trails didn’t happen either. First of all, travel was non-existent and I didn’t want to wear a mask hiking. Another one to move to the 2021 list.

Recycling more was something that I’m going to call a win. I’ve made a number of eco-friendly buying choices this year which has reduced my overall consumption such as switching to bar soap, shampoo, and conditioner and finding health & beauty products in eco-friendly packaging.

Looking forward, I’ll be moving many of my goals to the new year in hopes that 2021 will bring back many of the things that we’ve not been able to do this year. Here’s to making it a good one!

This is 2020, Living in a Pandemic – Raw

While I hope that I share meaningful information on this site regularly, the last couple of weeks have knocked me off my axis. For today, what I need is to get some of what is in my head out onto “paper,” maybe some of you are experiencing the same feelings I am.

Today I felt raw. For me, it feels like my world has tilted off of its axis. As someone who is quickly approaching the half-century mark, I’ve no recollection of the world being quite so upside down as it’s felt in the last few years. We are more divided as a nation. We are completely absorbed by self. We are full-time, no-holds-barred consumers. We’ve lost our tribes.

Thinking back in history, to tribal living, I think of how different tribes worked together, trading resources to ensure survival. If one tribe had buffalo and another had an abundance of corn, the two chiefs worked together to share because the tribal leaders understood they could both be stronger working together.

We’ve lost that. People are hoarding toilet paper, cans of soup, and dry cereal. There have been literal fights over paper products. People are scared and yet, not scared enough to take necessary precautions because they think if they get sick it won’t be too bad. They aren’t considering those walking beside them. The aggressive energy is stifling. People fighting to have more, to be right, no matter what the cost.

As someone who is a planner and a little OCD by nature, I am painfully aware of the lesson that I’m to learn right now – I cannot control everything. I can’t plan for every event. I can’t even plan for next week right now. It’s not a comfortable lesson but I’m trying to purposefully sit with the lesson and embrace it. It’s not easy.

I want to bring a sense of consciousness into all that I do. For the foreseeable future, I want to progress with intention while also doing no harm to others. I want to forget about selfies and use social media to spread a message of grace. How can I use my skills and blessings to make a contribution to the greater good?